Lessons from Pippi Longstocking: Imagining Childrens' Responses ...

Lessons from Pippi Longstocking: Imagining Childrens’ Responses to Violence Gotenburg, Sweden 31st May, 2011 Allan Wade Centre for Response-Based Practice Duncan B.C. Canada [email protected]

Topics Dreaded Small Group Activity Responses or effects Questions Consulting Children and Former Children Charlene and Evelyn Dissidents, Activists, Writers  

Questions How are children affected by violence/adversity? What are the effects/impacts of violence?

More Questions How do children respond to violence/adversity? How do children respond during and after assaults? How do children respond to their parents’ responses? How do children respond to + and - social responses?

The Prevailing Effects-Based Approach Children are seen as: - “exposed to” - “experience”

“subjected to” “witness”

“affected by”

The “biopsychosocial” model: - biological effects: hormones, epigenetics - psychological effects: emotional, cognitive development - social effects: social-psychological problems (behaviour) The purpose is to understand the harm done to children, to develop treatment and other interventions.

Children are uninvolved, passive, submissive, affected objects Children’s ever-present responses and resistance are concealed

What questions should we be asking about children/youth? •  How, in cases of violence, can we provide the best possible social responses? •  How is the welfare of children connected to the welfare of their parents/families? •  How do we imagine children? •  How do we understand the world children inhabit? •  How do we understand violence?

Charlene “ . . . on being a grandmother . . .”

Evelyn I would be crying and pushing his [her father’s] hand away, asking him to stop…it got to the point where I would not go home if the car was not parked outside or play outside until my mom or older sister got home. I remember sleeping with my clothes on, it was my security for awhile for when I was approached. By the time they could get my pants undone and down and undo theirs, I would have my pants up again. I would sleep on my stomach and would lay stiff. If my parents had a drinking party I would lay on the outside of my kid sister’s covers in bed so no one would hurt her. If they had to get their rocks off I would rather it be me instead of her.

 Everytime

they had parties I slept in my clothes and sometimes [I had] a knife in the door frame or under my pillow. When I was 15 I started going to the bar. When men started paying attention to me it felt good but I knew what it was they wanted. I would accept drinks at first, cocktease them and then tell them to get lost. They would call me a fucking cock teasing bitch. I would reply “Yeah, and a good one”. After seeing my older sister being beaten to a pulp I told myself I would never let a man do that to me, so I told my [first] husband to leave and that was the end of him. Evelyn concluded: I am able to voice my opinion rather than stay quiet. I can tell my husband and others how I feel without feeling guilty. I will always continue to go forward.

Imagining Children and Youth Professionals have a great deal to say about psychological and neurological effects/impacts of violence and trauma. For information on how children respond to, and resist, violence we must turn to writers, activists, social justice oriented intellectuals, dissidents, and victims themselves. How do children who have been abused try to preserve and assert their dignity? How do children try to preserve the dignity of their parents and siblings?

Wife-Assault and Children Man uses strategies to undermine the woman as a mother. Delivers negative messages about the mother to the children. Uses the violence, or possibility of violence, against the children to violate and control the woman. Uses violence against the woman to violate and control the children. The children cannot help but “witness” the violence against their mother, with no ability to make it stop. Creates an irresolvable “loyalty bind” for the children.

Who is Pippi? An orphan. Alone. Does not attend school. Cannot read or do arithmetic. “Guineas and Lockes” Treasure Chest of Gold and Villa Villekula Striking, bold looks A profound sense of justice and fair play Great physical strength Loves animals Immense loyalty and bravery Fun-loving

Pippilotta Delicatessa Windowshade Mackrelmint Ephraimsdaughter Longstocking Pippilotta Viktualia Rullgardina Krusmynta Efraimsdotter

   

Långstrump

Astrid Lindgren

Pippi entertains two burglars.

Pippi plays tag with the nice policemen.

Pippi pulls Tommy and Annika to shore.

Pippi draws at school . . . on the floor.

Mio With the golden apple, sees the bottle of Stockholm Ale, which he opens to discover the genie.

Mio and friend in Faraway Land

Mio, My Son Bosse, 9, is in foster care with foster parents who dislike boys and are psychologically abusive. He creates a “fantasy” world where the King of “Faraway Land” is his natural father, and is renamed “Mio” (my son). The “fantasy” directly counters the specific aspects of the abuse and includes characters who provided positive social responses. Friend, water cart horse, grocery store lady. An evil knight, Kato, is stealing children, so Mio must fight him to protect his father and his people.

Mio, My Son Mio, 9, in foster care with foster parents who dislike boys and are psychologically abusive. Creates a “fantasy” world where the King of “Faraway Land” is his natural father. The “fantasy” directly counters the specific aspects of the abuse and includes characters who provided positive social responses. Friend, water cart horse, grocery store lady.

Kamloops man accused of procuring sex with child Vancouver Province Newspaper 2009 A 33 year-old man who allegedly wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl remained in police custody Monday. The man was arrested Saturday night at a home in Kamloops where he went believing he was to meet a young child for sex. Police received a report from a person who said they had received a text message from the suspect. “The text allegedly asked the person to provide the suspect with a three-to-five-year-old girl for sex, and that he would pay for the service by way of a finder’s fee”, said Sgt. Scott Wilson. The man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes under Sec. 212 of the Criminal Code. Wilson said the suspect is known to police and was charged with a sexual-related offence with a person under 12 years of age in 2008. He was convicted of sex assault in 1999, police added.

Colm O’Gorman Describing the assault The boy lies there, frozen. The covers move as the priest moves over and brings his hand down. He starts to masturbate the boy, who lies there motionless. And then in moments it is over. The confusion and urgency of the sexual charge that took me over and blurred all else has passed and there is only the shock and guilt of what has just happened. I am dizzy and frightened. (49-50) I felt so betrayed by my own body, which reacted to what was happening. I was sickened that I could become aroused and experience sexual pleasure at the same time as feeling terrified and disgusted. (49)

Verbal Deception and Victim Distress Colm O’Gorman The morning after the first assault: ’Father’, I say. ‘That can never happen again. It’s wrong’. He nods his agreement but doesn’t say anything. Instead he waits to hear what I will say next. ‘It shouldn’t have happened and I don’t know what to do. It’s so very wrong. I feel sick.’ He finally speaks just as I feel I’m about to burst apart with guilt and shame. ‘You’re right, of course you are right. It was wrong and must never happen again. You must never do such a thing again.’ (p. 51)

Colm O’Gorman The drive home Just minutes away, he said, ‘I’m worried about you. You have a problem.’ I froze and said nothing, too scared to speak. ‘I am a priest and I have a duty to do something about it’. My mind raced, I didn’t know what he meant by ‘do something’, I didn’t have time to think it through, moments from my parents. ‘I could talk to your father . . . that might be best.’ I started to scream inside. Panic raced through me and the world started to spin. I wanted to escape, jump from the car, anything to get away from that awful moment. Anything to prevent what he said he might do. My father . . . it would kill him to know what I’d done, what I was. He would die from shame. ‘You need help and I am bound to help you,’ he said with all the solemnity and authority of his priestly office.”

George Orwell

A Hanging Shooting an Elephant How the Poor Die Such, Such Were the Joys

“Such, Such Were the Joys” How, in a context of violence and constant surveillance, does a child build a barrier between himself and his tormentors, behind which he can create some sense of freedom, some form of safety and social connection, some autonomy?

Preserving Dignity in the Face of Violence How do children who have been abused try to preserve and assert their dignity? How do children try to preserve the dignity of their parents and siblings?

Similarities for Children Between Wife-Assault and War Adapted from Fr. Ignacio Martin-Baro, “Toward a Liberation Psychology” •  •  •  •  •  • 

The violence is foreseeable, predictable Violence is enabled by complex social systems Authorities, social systems are ineffective and untrustworthy Adults who would protect are violated or violent Personal development in abnormal conditions Forced choice: Implications for identity

It is pointless to suggest that the trauma resides in an individual or to focus on individual treatment. Our response must be collective and relational, aimed at restoring relationships in a context of safety and dignity.

Considerations for Children Who Have Endured Violence •  Abusive fathers often try to turn children against their mothers •  Children fear one or both parents will die •  Children want to help one or both parents, siblings •  Aggressive youth, overburdened with responsibility. •  History of negative or ineffective social responses •  Stigmatized with other labels, programs •  Feel they are to blame, bad, disloyal, messed up, helpless   •  May become distressed/act out with closeness

Renee-Claude Carrier Activist Counsellor A-D. Kaushees Place Yukon Women’s Transition House Extreme Athlete Home Builder Montagnais Nation

Supporting the Mother-Child Bond Renee-Claude Carriere “Working with children together with their mothers just naturally seemed like the right thing to do. For a time, there was push to take kids aside, to interview them and to do programming with them apart from their mothers. Working in a transition home, I saw that as not productive. I was not comfortable with that way of working. Many of the women I had worked with had had their children apprehended. For many of our First Nations clients in particular, if I was to take their children aside, I could be seen as a threat.”

“In the first 24 hours after children come to Kaushee’s Place, they’re busy being peacemakers. They want no trouble. They want Mom to go home because Dad might be upset. Our job is to make sure they understand “you’re not going home, Dad is going to be okay, everyone is going to be okay - you’re safe.” Their fear is not about being traumatized. It’s about them trying to respond to the violence they think is going to come as a result of coming to the transition house”. Renee-Claude Carriere

Malcolm X

“Tell me why I’m wrong.”

Malcolm X Malcolm X was one of the top students in his class, and the only black student. One day his teacher, Mr. Ostrowski, whom he liked, asked him if he had been thinking about a career. Malcolm replied, "Well, yes, sir . . . I'd like to be a lawyer". “Mr. Ostrowski looked surprised, I remember, and leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head. He kind of halfsmiled and said, 'Malcolm, one of life's first needs is for us to be realistic. Don't misunderstand me, now. We all like you, you know that. But you've got to be realistic about being a nigger. A lawyer that's no realistic goal for a nigger. You need to think about something you can be. You're good with your hands - making things.” (p. 36)

Malcolm responded: “It was then that I began to change—inside. I drew away from white people. I came to class, and I answered when called upon. It became a physical strain simply to sit in Mr. Ostrowski's class. . . . Where 'nigger' had slipped off my back before, wherever I heard it now, I stopped and looked at whoever said it. And they looked surprised that I did. . . . In a few more weeks, it was that way, too, at the restaurant where I worked washing dishes, and at the [foster home].” (p. 37)

Nelson Mandela

On Dignity

Nelson Mandela “I learned my lesson one day from an unruly donkey. We had been taking turns climbing up and down on its back and when my chance came I jumped on and the donkey bolted into a nearby thorn bush. It bent its head, trying to unseat me, which it did, but not before the thorns had pricked and scratched my face, embarrassing me in front of my friends. Like the people of the East, Africans have a highly developed sense of dignity, or what the Chinese call "face". I had lost face among my friends. Even though it was a donkey that unseated me, I learned that to humiliate another person is to make him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate. Even as a boy, I defeated my opponents without dishonouring them.” (Mandela, 1994, p. 11-12)

Rigoberta Menchu

Rigoberta Menchu “I was five when she was doing this work and I looked after my little brother. I wasn't earning yet. I used to watch my mother, who often had the food ready at three o'clock in the morning for the workers who started work early, and at eleven she had the food for the midday meal ready. At seven in the evening she had to run around again making food for her group. In between times, she worked picking coffee to supplement what she earned. Watching her made me feel useless and weak because I couldn't do anything to help her except look after my brother. That's when my consciousness was born. It's true. My mother didn't like the idea of me working, of earning my own money, but I did. I wanted to work, more than anything to help her, both economically and physically.” (1984, p. 34)

Resistance to Racism in Childhood (Kim, 1991) As a child, I listened to the stories of my mother's childhood. We were drawn together in our common experience of oppression. I learned defiance and determination from my mother, my role model. My mother was a pillar of strength and hope. She had survived genocide and devastation in the Korean war, and I, her daughter, was convinced that I too could overcome all adversity. (p. 205)

Kim (cont’d) Silenced by the dominant white culture, silenced by the white people, I was told who I was, what I was, and who I should be. Silenced by my school teachers who taught in a school that was eurocentric, monolingual and neo-colonial, I learned to live with the silences. I closed my mind to their thinking. I learned to regurgitate the words and their worldview. I learned to be a good student, reciting what my teachers wanted to hear. I chose to ignore white people when I heard condescension in their voices. School became a place where I learned the lessons of survival in a white racist culture. (1991, p. 207)

Simon “Summoning the perpetrator . . . “

Contrasting Questions How are children affected by the separation of their parents? How do children respond to the separation of their parents? Retail relationships. Protect parents. Express fear, loss, isolation. Connect with others.

Kamloops man sex sex from sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl sex for sex a young child for sex meet a young child for sex believing he was to meet a young child for sex

Kamloops man cont’d

sexual sexual purposes for sexual purposes procuring for sexual purposes the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes

Misrepresenting Intent: Drawing Mental Inferences from Distorted Accounts

“wanted to purchase sex from a three-to-five-year-old girl” “believing he was to meet a young child for sex” “the man was arrested for procuring for sexual purposes”

Alternative: Re: Kamloops man violate violate a young child abduct and violate a young child planning to abduct and violate a young child Intent: “planning to abduct and violate”

Brown (1991) [T]he voices of . . . young girls . . . raise[s] questions about whether the lucidity women find . . . later in life is not in fact a lucidity they once had, then lost, and have since found or recovered; whether women in later life create entirely “new experiences of seeing and saying" or acquire new attitudes and new courage; or whether they recall earlier, older, familiar experiences, attitudes and courage - experiences that, for a time, for safety sake, they forgot, denied or repressed. Was there a time when we, as women, once saw clearly what we were looking at and named, in the face of conflict, our own feelings about the complicated and rich world of relationships we engaged? (p. 83)

Colm confronts the Priest “’Father’, I say. ‘That can never happen again. It’s wrong’. He [Fortune] nods his agreement but doesn’t say anything. Instead he waits to hear what I will say next. ‘It shouldn’t have happened and I don’t know what to do. It’s so very wrong. I feel sick.’ He finally speaks just as I feel I’m about to burst apart with guilt and shame. ‘You’re right, of course you are right. It was wrong and must never happen again. You must never do such a thing again.’” (p. 51)

Lisbeth Salander

Priest Springs the Trap “Before long we were close to home, just minutes away. . . . Then he [Fortune] cleared his throat and said, ‘I’m worried about you. You have a problem.’ I froze and said nothing, too scared to speak. ‘I am a priest and I have a duty to do something about it’. My mind raced, I didn’t know what he meant by ‘do something’. I didn’t have time to think it through. We were moments away from home, from my parents. ‘I could talk to your father . . . that might be best.’ I started to scream inside. Panic raced through me and the world started to spin. I wanted to escape, jump from the car, anything to get away from that awful moment. Anything to prevent what he said he might do. My father . . . it would kill him to know what I’d done, what I was. He would die from shame.”

Hyden M. & Overlein, C. (2009). M: Have things been okay at home? S: Yes, but then yesterday mum and dad started fighting about something, but I just close my ears. M: What do you do when you close your ears do you use something to put in your ears? S: No, I try not to care or try to talk to them about something else. Then I listen to really loud music so they’ll get angry at me instead

Hyden, M. & Overlein, C. (2009) C: Can I ask in those situations when you were scared and felt like something was wrong did you feel like you could do something then? C: No that was the thing. I was so little and had so many feelings. Sometimes I could say to daddy that please dad please be quiet, don’t be bothered by what mummy says. I played along with him for a while and played along with him and thought this will help and pretended that mummy was the one who was sick. So I said that if you could only be quiet don’t be bothered by what she is saying you know she is wrong (pause) so be quiet and go outside and be angry.

Good things

. . . and a response-based shed.

Worries

Dreams

Can  we  begin  to  form  a  general  sense  of  the  ways  in  which  children  respond?   How  do  children  escape  and  hide  from  the  violence?   How  do  children  protect  one  another  and  their  parents?   How  do  children  challenge  their  violent  parents?   How  do  children  manage  their  violent  parent,  emo:onally?   How  do  children  view  the  non-­‐offending  parent?  

Pippi and Mr. Nilsson

Youth Aggression in Residential Settings Todd et al. (2009) Processing Aggressive Actions Staff calmly provide safety Quiet time Process event Attend to “position”, already existing “ethics” of youth. Note control and deliberation. Highlight choices. Acknowledge wilingness to talk