March

The Classic Motorcycle Club P.O. Box 7709, Albermarle, 1410

The Master Link

Vol.48 - No. 3 – March 2013

www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za

Contented Page: 02 Page: 05 Page: 06 Page: 07 Page: 08 Page: 09 Page: 11 Page: 12 Page: 13 Page: 15 Page: 18 Page: 24 Page: 24 Page: 30 Page: 34 Page: 41 Page: 42 Page: 44

Calendar of Events/ New Members/ Notice Board Perpetual Motion Editorial BOTM Letter News – Entries for JD Rally Swell to 200 Upcoming Events – Sabie Daffodil Run Upcoming Events – 27th CMC Convention Guess the Bike Feature – Looking Back Classic Bike – Honda CB750A Technical – Replacing BMW Air-Head push rod tube seals Feature – Looking Back Marketplace Humour Faces CMC Committee Riding Shotgun

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Calendar of Events

March 2013 03

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: All British bikes except Triumph and BSA 06/09 JD Rally – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432 Registration 6 March Start – 7 March 06H00 at the Carnival City Casino. Finish – 9 March Hillcrest, KZN 17 Piston Ring Swap Meeting 20 1000 Bike Show meeting 20 Club Night 23/24 Vintage Enduro – Sierra Ranch – KZN

April 2013 07

14 17 21

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Everything Italian – Ducati, Laverda, Moto Guzzi, Moto Morini, Gilera, Itom Club Run – SSOB Club Night Piston Ring

May 2013 05 12 15 19 TBA TBA

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Off Road Day Club Run – Cool Run – Contact Tim 082 629 2961 Club Night – 1000 Bike Show meeting Piston Ring Natal Classic – CMC Natal Ride to VVC – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432

June 2013 01 02 09 09 15 16 19

Benoni High School Wheels Day – Contact Charles Gardner 082 824 9731 Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Honda Club Run DJ Remembrance Run – Contact Pierre 072 513 9432 Vintage Moto Cross – Eastern Cape Piston Ring Final 1000 Bike Show meeting [2]

July 2013 06/07 14 21 24 TBA

1000 Bike Show – Germiston High School Club Run Piston Ring 1000 Bike Show wrap up and report back Natal CMC Bike Show

August 2013 04 04 10 11 18 21 TBA

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Triumph Cars in the Park – POMC Vintage Moto cross – Gauteng Club Run? Piston Ring Club Night? Magnum Rally – Contact POMC

September 2013 01

Club Sunday - Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: BSA 08 Club Ride TBA SAVVA AGM 15 Piston Ring Swap meeting 18 Club Night? 21/22 Social Vinduro – Clarens 20-24 CMC Convention

October 2013 06 13 16 20 27

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: All other Japanese except Honda CMC Winter Rally Contact – Pierre 072 513 9432 Club Night? Piston Ring Inter Provincial VMX – Venue to be advised

November 2013 03 10 17 20

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: American Day, Harley Davidson, Indian etc Club Ride Piston Ring AGM [3]

December 2013 01 01 08 13 15

Club Sunday – Containers open at 09h00 Bike of the Month: Scooter Day Kiddies Xmas Party Club ride in aid of charity Chairman’s Braai Piston Ring

Please note that all CMC rides meet at the Clubhouse at 08:00 and depart at 09:00 unless otherwise stated.

Welcome New Members Eric Redelinghuys - BMW, Moto Guzzi, Ducati, Laverda, Hesketh and plenty more Anthony Yates - Sunbeam and Suzuki Marius Malherbe - Vespa Andreas Olivier - Suzuki Derick Prince - No bike yet Graham James - AJS, Yamaha and Honda Kevin Nunes – Triumph Andrews Ward - Triumph Gavin Lange - Kawasaki, Moto Guzzi and Ariel Welcome Back: Frank Louw - BMW

Notice Board NB: Bank Transfers and/or Direct Deposits - Please note that when paying any amount into the Club’s account, use your name as a reference. Without this information we cannot reconcile who paid what for which. It would help tremendously if your transfer/deposit confirmation could be faxed to the Treasurer on 086 672 8941 with full details!

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Perpetual Motion It was with sadness that I learnt of the passing of Bob Baker. Our deepest condolences go to Sally and the family. A lot of us will remember Bob because of the excellent silencers that he made, whichever way you remember Bob, he was a great man, a great motorcyclist and he will be missed. Most of you would have heard about Gavin Walton’s unfortunate accident after the pre DJ Rally. I am happy to report that Gavin is on the mend. We have had our first 1000 Bike show meeting and it promises to be another big one this year. If you can assist with the organization, give me a call please. By the time that you read this magazine the JD would have come and gone We have another labour dispute in the Post Office and this means that you will be getting your magazine late again. I urge you to consider getting the magazine via email. This way you will get the magazine before club Sunday and it will be in colour. Safe riding

Pierre

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Editorial A hundred years is a long time… So the big event on everyone’s minds at the moment is the Centenary running of the DJ Race/ Run/ Rally, or to be more accurate, the JD. It’s hard to think that 100 years ago the very first DJ Race was held. Think about that for a moment... One hundred years and still going. That is quite an achievement. Think about the things that you’ve used, seen, owned, driven in or on that are 100 years old or more. Not buildings, those are easy; I’m talking about everyday stuff that has survived a century or more. I can count them on one hand: We have a silver tea set and a crystal decanter set in our family; I’ve ridden on the tram in Kimberley; I have a few old coins; and I’ve driven in a 1907 Model N Ford. I feel very privileged to have these experiences, but none of it compares to taking part in an event that is 100 years old and steeped in such history, on machinery that is nearly as old or even older. That must be quite a feeling. Judging by the amount of effort that has gone into the planning and running of the event, it can only be a resounding success and it is certain to run for another 100 years. To all the participants of the 2013 JD Rally, I wish you all the very best. On a more modern note, this month also sees the VMX Vintage Enduro (Vinduro?) being held at Sierra Ranch towards the end of the month. If you’re keen on taking part or spectating, get in touch with Hamish Ireland (contact details at the back of the mag). March is also swap meet month at the Piston Ring club, so be sure to show your support. The 1000 Bike Show will be the main focus at our Wednesday night meeting; if you’d like to help with the show in any way please make an effort to attend. Thank you to everyone who once again contributed to this month’s magazine. As always, the quality and variety of articles is top notch. Judging by the Humour section this month, you guys clearly needed a few laughs, so I am only too happy to oblige. Well, that’s enough blabbing from me. I wish you all a peaceful Lenten season and a Happy Easter. See you all at the club. Till then, Keep it upright! T!M

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Bike of the Month

February’s Bike of the Month winner belongs that serial Zundapp collector: Pieter Snyman. For February he brought along two of his prized possessions: a 1974 Water cooled Zundapp; and the ultimate winner: a 1968 air cooled Zundapp Super Sport. The detail work on these “Other Germans” was simply jewel-like, and that is why it was chosen as BOTM for February.

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Letters Dear Marlene & The Classic Motorcycle Club Thank you very much for your donation of R8000 received on 6 December 2012. Our facility relies on your donations to continue assisting wildlife and your generosity allows FreeMe to continue this vital role. The past few months at the centre have been both busy and exciting as we’ve moved through the peak of the breeding season. Orphaned baby mammals which have been rescued from threatening situations include Duiker, Small and Large Spotted Genets, Scrub Hares, bats, and primates. We’ve been lucky enough to raise yet another Honey Badger and Cape Clawless Otter, both of which are highly intelligent and very demanding animals to rehabilitate. We have been amazed at the sheer diversity of species that pass through our hands at the centre. At one point we had 5 owl species and 6 raptor species ranging from a Brown Chested Snake Eagle to a Little Sparrowhawk. The myriad of garden birds and reptiles such as monitor lizards, tortoises and a high number of snakes have kept us busy too. One of our biggest challenges each year is the meerkat release involving up to 50 meerkats. These are animals which have been kept as illegal pets and abandoned, dumped or donated to us when they become unmanageable and aggressive. This next month or so will see us working hard at the next meerkat release which is difficult but deeply satisfying. One of our strongest messages is that wild animals are not pets! Without your donations, none of the animals mentioned here would have the second chance they’ve been given. Thank you once again for your support of FreeMe and our wildlife. Sincerely Sharon Plint and the FreeMe Team * RESCUE * REHABILITATE * RELEASE Wildlife Rehabilitation NPC – Est 1997 138 Holkam Road, Paulshof, Sandton (Off Witkoppen Road) PO Box 1666, Cramerview 2060 Tel: (011) 807 6993 Fax: (011) 807 6814 Cell: 083 558 5658 E-mail: [email protected] Website: www.freemewildlife.org.za

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News ENTRY FOR CENTENARY JD CLASSIC MOTORCYCLE RALLY SWELLS TO RECORD 200 RIDERS By Roger Houghton The magic of taking part in a regularity rally commemorating 100 years since the running of this famous motorcycle race between Johannesburg and Durban has attracted a record 200 entries with a further five riders on the reserve list. This year’s three-day event, which starts at Carnival City, Ekurhuleni, on March 7 and finishes in Durban, has a strong international flavour with 17 riders from beyond the borders of SA. Six are from the United Kingdom, four from Australia, three from the Netherlands and one each from New Zealand, Zimbabwe, the United States and Ireland. One of the Australian entrants, Dorian Radue is a woman and a regular on this world famous event. “This enthusiasm for an event which requires one to ride a motorcycle made between 1913 and 1937 is astounding and is indicative of the growing interest in classic events for both motorcycles and cars,” said a delighted clerk of the course, Pierre Cronje, who is also the chairman of the Classic Motorcycle Club in Germiston, which is attracting a good inflow of new members these days. “Classic motorcycle regularity rallying is certainly not a male preserve and this year there are 14 women on the entry list,” added Cronje. “We are also very pleased that the list also includes two members of the Blaque Diamonds Motorcycle Club in Soweto. They are Thabang Buthelezi and Khaya Nkonyane, who will ride an OK Supreme and Zundapp respectively. The machines have been loaned to the two enthusiasts by Peter Hall, curator of the James Hall Museum of Transport in Johannesburg. “This will not only be a first time entry on the JD Rally, but also their first foray into regularity rallying on a motorcycle and they are undergoing intensive training in the difficult task of using a route schedule on a roller to find the way and then calculating arrival times at [9]

checkpoints based on set average speeds. Early or late arrival at these marshal points results in penalties.” This annual event is usually run over two days and in recent years the direction has been from Durban to Johannesburg. However, due to the significance of the centenary rally the riders will have three days to complete the route which follows approximately the same roads used in the days when it was a road race on public roads. The riders will overnight in Newcastle on the Thursday evening and in Nottingham Road the next night. The route on the second day will end in the grounds of the Nottingham Road Primary School, which is also celebrating its centenary this year and there will be festivities including a braaivleis at this venue in the evening. The rallyists will be contributing to a fund to raise money for a computer centre for the school. “We are getting very good cooperation from the authorities in Ekurhuleni and EThekwini (Durban), which is much appreciated,” continued Cronje. “Their assistance will focus at the start and finish of the event respectively, with those who reach the final control at the Hillcrest Corner Centre, Main Road, Hillcrest, going on a mass ride to Durban on the Saturday afternoon, with the ride ending at the People’s Park near the new soccer stadium in Durban. EThekwini is, in fact, giving the event a civic reception to honour its centenary. “I am fortunate as the chief organiser of this major event of having a willing team of committee members from a number of classic motorcycle organisations and clubs to assist me,” said Cronje. “In addition we have had very good support from a number of sponsors which is vital as we do not have an overall sponsor.” Sponsors include: African Electroplating, Anderson Engineering, Bike SA, Cape Crane, Castrol, Classic Motorcycle Club, Feltra, Kargo, L & G Tools, Maizey Plastics, Nevsway Conveyor Supplies, Propsol, Protea Metering, Randburg Coin, SA Vintage and Veteran Association, Stick-a-Tile, SherLight, Traditional Triumph and Wynn’s. For more information: www.djrun.co.za Pierre Cronje (Clerk of the Course) 072513-9432

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Upcoming Events

SABIE DAFFODIL RUN The Daffodil run up to Sabie is on again this year for the weekend 19th, 20th & 21st April 2013 For those who have not been on one before it is a social gathering of Classic and Italian motorcyclists in the beautiful surroundings of ET enjoying some of the greatest roads in RSA. Wives, girlfriends welcome. Inexpensive self-catering accommodation If you haven’t a Classic or Italian bring your modern The Venue is the Sabie Star self-catering Chalets located 2.5 kays from Sabie on the RHS of the Hazyview road. Those who ride together usually meet 8 for 8:30am on the Friday at the Argent Total Petroport on the N12 ( 80 kays out of JHB ) and take the Schoemanskloof route turning off towards Sudwala Caves to Sabie. COSTS This is an informal gathering so there is no entry fee and no sweep The Chalets are self-catering with fridge hotplates kettle crockery and cutlery – bring your own towels. Bedding is supplied. Accommodation: R 180 per person per night Two bed chalets are also available You must book directly with Nick at Sabi Star Chalets 079 387 1868 [email protected] FOOD Food will be available at the Boma Friday and Saturday at R85 per head A cash bar will also be available at the Boma Braaiwood is supplied free and the Woodsman is just up the road, with a well-stocked SPAR and bottlestore opposite PROGRAM Arrive Friday settle in meet friends, ride or hit the Woodsman… Friday evening socialize in the Boma Saturday Morning 9:30 gather for an outride to a lunch venue. Saturday evening socialize in the Boma Queries: Jan Minnaar 073 203 6460

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Upcoming Events 27TH CMC CONVENTION 2013 20 TO 24 SEPTEMBER 2013 Due to popular demand, we have secured Jock Sabie Lodge for the above event. This will be our 11th Convention at their venue. The whole venue has been booked out to our Club and we had to put down a rather large deposit. Accommodation is limited and will be done on a “first come, first served” basis. Accommodation will be R250.00 per person per night. The Gala Evening’s dinner is at a rate of R160,00 per person. Details of this will be available at a later stage. Regalia still have to be sorted out, where after rates will be available on the bookings forms. It will consist of a Golf Shirt, Cap and Badge. Due to the large deposit made to the lodge, it will be necessary to raise a R500.00 booking fee from participants, which will then be deducted from the final sum as per the booking form. Our suggested agenda will be as follows: Friday 20th – Arrival and a braai in the evening. Bring your own meat. The Club will supply pap, sauce, bread rolls and a green salad. Saturday 21th – In the morning a run will be arranged, details to be announced later. In the evening we will be entertained by Ken Thomas. Sunday 22th – Another run will be organized for the morning. I am sure similar braai arrangements can be made for the Sunday evening or maybe a lovely meal in the Restaurant at own expense. Monday 23rd – A free leisure day, unless something interesting crops up in the meantime. The same forms as two years ago will be forwarded on request for completion and return to the Organizing Committee. There will be NO CAMPING FACILITIES! As most participants prefer the same rooms as they had in the years before, it is necessary for you to contact Rita on: 083 774 6798, 011 764 3798 or email: [email protected] at your earliest convenience.

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Guess The Bike This machine was built in West Germany in 1949 and featured single sided front and rear suspension, no down tube and an exhaust pipe that formed a part of the frame. It produced a whole 4.5 hp and could reach the top speed of 47 mph.

Can you guess what it is? The answer is on the last page.

Farewell It is with great sadness that I heard of the death of Bob Baker. My thoughts are with Sally and the family at this sad time. A quiet man, always ready to help with any problems. He was a perfectionist in anything he did. Quite a few of my bikes were built with a little help from Bob. He will be dearly missed by everyone who met him. Goodbye my old friend Wally Errington UK

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Feature Looking back You can’t teach an old dog……………… Sometime last year, in an edition of this magazine, “Dislodged Rocker” released to a breathlessly expectant world my secret disability. In common with (I suspect) many more members of the CMCC I have a body which has matured at a more or less normal rate but a brain the maturing process of which is much slower. In more simple terms then I have an 18year old brain in a 73 year old body. What this means practically is that there are times when my brain writes cheques that my body finds difficulty in cashing. This problem is exacerbated by my firm belief that a vehicle is built with a certain potential in terms of its performance, so, if one doesn’t use that potential to the full, one is actually wasting the hard earned cash expended on said vehicle. Now, the Historic Motorcycle Group (hereinafter referred to as the HMG), is an organization devoted to the restoration and non competitive use of old/ historic racing motorcycles. To this end they organize events wherein one can stretch the legs of older racing machinery in a controlled environment at a speed with which the rider feels most comfortable. By “controlled environment” I mean on a race track, where everyone is normally travelling in the same direction, where the participants mostly know what they are doing, where alcohol is used only after the event, where all vehicles are subject to a technical inspection and there are no taxis. (Because they can’t pass the technical inspection?) When I became aware of this organization it became obvious that it was practically tailor made for one who possesses my affliction and beliefs so I joined up. The question which immediately arose was what to ride? Back in the early 90’s youngest son Paul built himself a little 200 Suzuki with which he competed very successfully in classic racing for several years. He never sold the bike preferring to hang onto it for reasons of sentiment, so a plan was hatched to re-decorate it, so to speak, in a livery as close as possible to that of a late 60’s (it’s actually a 1968 T200) Suzuki factory racer. (Successfully I might add, to the extent that a few spectators have actually asked us whether it was an actual factory racer.) So there we are: Paul is going to set up something else for HMG so Dad is the nominated rider. All through its active competitive career apart from being quite quick the little Suzuki’s strongest point was its refrigeratoresque reliability. In three years racing it had only two involuntary stops: A broken ignition wire and a crash. But this has not quite been the case since its rebirth. It has suffered from a strange flooding problem with the RH carburetor. Quite suddenly and for no apparent reason it will start to pour petrol out of the overflow pipe. Other times it will stand in the pits like an old bloke with a prostate problem and quietly drip fuel onto the ground. Possibly even more annoyingly, sometimes it will go very rich on the RH carb and produce an obvious misfire and quite a lot of smoke from that side exhaust. By Piper day on the first Sunday in February I had reached the stage of lowering the RH float to an unacceptably low level which seemed to largely cure the flooding, although because of the [15]

low float it was cutting out on the RH cylinder after a long period of full bore (and still came into the pits after the last event pouring fuel all over the concrete again). Drastic measures required! A full strip of the offending instrument revealed nothing. So after cleaning all the parts I left them to dry on the bench and called up No 2 son to come around for a technical discussion. The pieces of the carburetor were all nice and clean and dry when he got here so imagine my surprise when I found one of the floats quite wet with petrol to the extent of dripping onto my hand. Then at last the light went on, and suddenly all the pieces fell into place. When I shook the float it was quite obviously full of liquid. My gast was totally flabbered. My first leaky float in 58 years of mucking about with engines. Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks? The really sad aspect of the whole sorry mess was the unpalatable fact that this was not one of the dreaded Monoblocs or Concentrics from Mr Amal, oh no it was one of those incredibly reliable Mikuni’s. Still, shouldn’t complain really; it is 45 years old. Break a leg Interesting photo of Robert Alan Zimmerman (aka Bob Dylan) in last month’s mag. Some say he was quite an accomplished entertainer and some say that he didn’t seem to know a lot about riding a motorbike. Please guys don’t try that at home. Mr Dylan should have been made to write out at least 100 times “it is bloody dangerous to ride a motorcycle with my legs IN FRONT of the footrests.” Very lekker Triumph though. Ref: A bit on the side Bruce Watts’s piece on sidecars last month really got me going. Thanks mate! Sidecars never really caught on in South Africa, not for street use anyway. I really don’t know why unless the majority of motorcyclists looked on them like I did. I feel that they carry the disadvantages of both cars and motorbikes. Namely they are too big to slip through the gaps but you still get wet when it rains. More storage space though! When it comes to competition however everything changes. Some fiftyish years ago sidecar racing was quite active in the then Transvaal. We used to race on what we called grasstracks (although at the end of a Highveld winter there was precious little grass). I might be wrong here but I believe that all British grasstracks were left handed (a la speedway) but S.A. grasstracks were AC/DC (they went both ways). I got involved early on in mid 1961 by getting a job as a passenger for a bloke who built a JAP (J A Prestwich, not Japanese) engined outfit. Subsequent total inversion of the outfit at a practice session convinced my pilot that this was definitely not his mug of Joko and convinced me that if anyone was going to be responsible for inverting the thing it was going to be me. So I bought my ex pilots sidecar and bolted it on to my Norton grasstrack solo and had 3 years of some of the best fun ever. Now for a solo rider his first try on a sidecar outfit can be something of an ordeal. Practically speaking you don’t tip it into corners you initiate the turn by turning the handlebars in the [16]

direction you want to go. Directly opposed in fact to what you do on a solo. The sidecar outfit unlike almost any other vehicle is a two track vehicle with two wheels on one side and one out of line on the other, which except for a few special military outfits drives on only one wheel. So with a left hand sidecar position, to turn left you actually have to ride around the un-driven wheel whilst on right handers you have to force the un-driven wheel to run around you. To negotiate a left hand bend then you open the throttle and steer left. On tar the result is a nice steady left hand turn (or if you’re being silly the sidecar wheel lifts frighteningly off the deck and in extremis will come all the way over the top of you). On dirt however it takes little effort to produce a totally enjoyable power broadside which can be with practice controlled merely by the amount the throttle is wound on. Right handers need exactly the opposite treatment. Close the throttle, put a relatively strong right pull on the bars and the sidecar obediently runs around the bike. Get this wrong when trying to go fast on dirt and the outfit will head determinedly straight towards the outside of the corner with steering on full lock. Closing the throttle too abruptly at this point will cause the entire outfit to pivot about the front and sidecar tyre contact patches and lift the rear wheel of the bike right off the ground (been there done that) and if you’re unlucky turn right over on top of you. Oh what fun we had! You see sidecar passengers are not just for ornament, without their mobile balancing act the whole thing would go pear shaped very quickly, ask anyone who has accidentally lost a passenger (not me I’m pleased to say). Getting a racing sidecar outfit completely sideways flat out in third gear with all three wheels going in different directions is for me is one of life’s greatest, satisfying and most secret pleasures (with my clothes on). Thanks again for the memories. MIKE WHITE

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Classic Bike Honda CB750A: Honda's Automatic Motorcycle By Ian Lee

Hondamatic. To most Australians it is associated with the Honda automatic cars that were sold in the country in the late 1970’s and early 80’s. It seems a little known fact in Australia that Hondamatic is also the term given to Honda motorcycles equipped with automatic transmissions, and that Honda attempted offering these automatic motorcycles to the Australian bike riding fraternity with no luck. The feature bike in this article is a relic from this era, a California-spec CB750A brought to Australia for testing in the local conditions. Even though Honda Australia decided against selling the model here, the bike stayed, and has found its way into safe hands. At the start of 1977, Honda was producing two automatic motorcycle models: The CB400A, known in the U.S. as the Hawk, and the CB750A, a reworking of the CB750F. These bikes were initially conceived as a way for learner riders to get comfortable riding motorcycles without fear of stalling. This allowed for the novice to practice staying upright, braking and riding in traffic, all without having to focus on changing gears constantly as well. I say changing gears constantly because the automatic transmissions offered on Hondamatic motorcycles were not automatic in the true sense of the word. A shift lever in the same position as a gear changer on a manual Honda allowed the rider to shift between neutral, low and drive. The ability to manually shift between high and low made sure the bike wouldn’t shift gears through a corner, throwing a rider off balance. Also built into the automatic models was a linkage from the kickstand to the gear lever, so when the kickstand was operated, the bike would put itself into neutral. This would stop the bike from starting in gear, something someone new to riding might overlook after getting back on the back.

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The automatic motorcycles lacked the performance of their manual brothers. Quarter-mile times and top speeds were slower, the added weight of the transmissions not helping. The CB750A didn’t allow enough acceleration on the downshift to pass cars, and the CB400A transmission allowed too much chance of over run when heading into corners at speed. Performance issues and a change in the demographic of bike buyers meant Hondamatics only got a 3-year run before being dropped from the lineup. In an engineering sense, the CB750A wasn’t just a CB750 with an automatic transmission fitted. Much work went into this model to make them stand apart from their CB750 stable mates. The engine gained different rocker covers and crankcases to suit the different engine/transmission combo. The engines were changed from dry sump to wet sump, the same oil going from the torque convertor through the engine to be cooled. The torque convertor is of the same design as the Civic cars of the time, as well as the Moto Guzzi V1000, which would have been a competitor to the CB750A. A three-part unit, the convertor was made up of a centrifugal oil pump, a turbine wheel and a stator. The oil pump, driven off a primary drive connected to the crank, would spin inside the turbine wheel, both of these components being bowl shaped. The oil from the pump would travel along the vanes of the turbine wheel, where it is then directed to the cup-shaped vanes of the stator wheels, and deflected back to the oil pump hub. Simple but rugged, the Hondamatic motorcycles gained a name for reliability that still stands today. In regards to the fuel system, the standard CB750 fare was not going to suit the Hondamatic. Four 24mm slide/needle Keihin carbs are fitted, along with an accelerator pump so when the bike is accelerated from idle it does not suffer from the “Honda Burp” of the period. On top of this an electronically controlled diaphragm on the throttle linkage automatically bumps up the revs as soon as the transmission is engaged to make sure the bike doesn’t stall. Breathing out is taken care of by a 4-into-2 exhaust system, the silencers swept up and back in the custom style of the time. Aesthetically, the Honda CB750A looks very different to the other CB750 models, the designers looking to the GL1000 for inspiration. GL-style rims are fitted front and rear, a 19.5 litre GL-styled tank is fitted, and the handlebars are high and wide. The larger GL rims give more ground clearance, but they also make the bike look bulkier than it really is. Stopping duties are covered by standard Honda fare, disc in the front, drum in the rear. The front caliper is slightly different to standard CB spec. A road test of the period rates the rear [19]

drum as adequate and the front disc as “not being the best disc brake, but for the design of the bike it works well.”

Instruments are basic, the tachometer making way for a large light readout showing whatever gear the bike is in at the time. The speedometer gives the range for both low and drive gear to ensure the rider does not overwork the engine. Drive gear is good from 0 up to 100mph, the low gear being only from 0 to 60mph. Although it is possible to use high gear all the time, using low gear in traffic is the better option, leaving drive for the open road. A large 20-amp hour battery takes the traditional place of the Honda oil reservoir, fed by a 290-watt alternator. Kickstart is in case of emergency only, with a kickstart lever mounted under the seat in. The Australian Automatics In early 1977 Bennett Honda, Australia’s Honda motorcycle importer, brought in two Californiaspec CB750As for evaluation in regards to selling them on the Australian market. These bikes were given to local motoring journalists on the proviso that no one was to write up a road test. One magazine broke the pact, and published their thoughts on the CB750A. This prompted Honda Australia, who had taken over from Bennett in importing bikes, to release the bikes for a second full road test. This time journalists would be allowed to do a full review and publish their view of the automatic motorcycle. This was all for naught, as in the end Honda Japan decided that it would be a waste of money to specify [20]

such a small batch of bikes to sell on the Australian market, and the two test bikes were the only CB750A bikes brought into the country by Honda. After Honda Australia gave up on the idea of importing CB750As into the country the test bikes were sold to Jim Airey’s dealership in Sydney. One of the Hondamatics was purchased by a local car dealer, who painted it white. It was stolen not long after and hasn’t been seen since. The second test bike found its way into the hands of the current owner, who after 35 years is still happy with the purchase. Modifications over the years include an oil cooler, lower handlebars for better riding position, and the original exhaust pipes put away for safekeeping. The only other noticeable modification is the retrimmed seat; foam doesn’t last forever and this bike has racked up some miles. The bike being California spec, the indicators and headlight come on as soon as the ignition is turned on, not something you normally find on bikes in Australia. The bike looks immaculate for all its years, looking no worse than pictures of it taken for a magazine review in late 1977. This CB750A is definitely no trailer queen, either; if it goes somewhere, it is under its own power, and the owner likes to take it out at least once a month to stretch it’s two-speed legs. This remnant of an attempt to produce a whole new class of motorcycles is in good hands, the owner showing it is possible to have a rare bike and not hide it away in the garage under a cover. Ultimately, the automatic motorcycle craze did not take off. The CB750A was classed as too heavy for novice riders and too slow for experienced riders. The bulk of the transmission worked against both classes of riders, leaving the over-engineered CB750A without a demographic to sell to, thus prompting its demise in 1978. Interest in these Hondamatic models is rising, with riders realizing they aren’t bad bikes per se, they just require a different riding style. It’s good this CB750A has found its way into the feature bike owner’s hands and that he is willing to show it off. Or to put it in Motorcycle Classics terms: To ride it, not hide it. Thanks to the owner of the bike for his time and information. Also to Tom Day and Stewart MacDonald for their assistance researching this piece. Read more: http://www.motorcycleclassics.com/mc-dispatch/honda-cb750a-automatichonda.aspx#ixzz2LoHmQttE [21]

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MOTOR BIKE EXHAUST PROBLEMS? I REPAIR AND MAKE UP EXHAUST SYSTEMS FOR ALL TYPES OF BIKES & QUADS STAINLESS OR MILD STEEL

WHY IMPORT - WHEN YOU CAN SUPPORT LOCAL PHONE ANDRÈ ON 072 456 6161 [email protected]

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Technical Replace BMW Airhead Twin Pushrod Tube Seals By MC Staff

Introduced in 1969 for the 1970 model year, BMW's "Slash 5" line of air-cooled twins was the Bavarian maker's most successful new offering to date. Well made and incredibly durable, the /5 and subsequent /6 and /7 models in all their various guises were built in record numbers, with almost a quarter million churned out from the BMW factory between 1969 and 1980. Today, more than 40 years after the series' introduction, there are still tens of thousands of these venerable "airheads" plying the roads. Legendary for their ability to run forever, they are rolling testimony to BMW's excellent design. But good as they are, they're not immune to the sort of common problems that can afflict just about any machine. Eventually, any motorcycle that's used will develop leaks of one sort or another at critical sealing points, and with these BMWs the pushrod tube seals — the focus of this How-To — are a common leak area. Visible below the cylinder, the pushrod tubes, two on each side, house the valve pushrods. The tubes are pressed into the cylinder at their outer end for a permanent seat and are sealed at the engine block with pliable rubber "pillow" seals. Over time, these seals harden and crack, with sometimes extensive oil leaks the result. Replacing the seals requires cylinder removal, so it's not surprising that many owners let them fester for years before finally replacing them. However, thanks to these engines' relatively simple and extremely accessible design, replacing pushrod tube seals is within the scope of a competent weekend warrior. Specialized tools are limited to a good torque wrench, and if you do it our way you won't even need a piston ring compressor. As always, a good shop manual for reference and needed torque specs is critical. We suggest ordering the parts you know you'll need before you begin, [24]

including new pushrod tube seals, cylinder base gaskets, cylinder head gaskets and, if they're suspect, new valve cover gaskets. You'll also want four new piston pin clips (never reuse old ones if you can help it), and make sure to have a tube of Permatex Ultra Grey for the base gaskets. Before you begin, consult your manual for exhaust and carburetor removal, which we won't cover here. Remember to clean each and every part as well as you can. Although a seasoned mechanic can do this job in around four hours, we'd suggest budgeting two weekend days; one for disassembly, an intervening week for cleanup and parts ordering, and a following weekend day for reassembly. Importantly, this How-To assumes your engine is otherwise in good running order, with good compression and no oil burning that would require fitting new piston rings or refinishing the cylinder barrels. If you discover serious issues inside, you'll want to reassess your options. This engine is from our Race to Rebuild 1974 R90/6, removed to refinish the frame. The steps are the same otherwise, starting with removing the exhaust and carburetors, followed by the valve cover, which is held by three nuts, one on the face and two behind, as shown.

Removing the valve cover shows the four studs with nuts that secure the rocker arm assemblies and the cylinder head and cylinder to the block. There are two more studs at 12 and 6 o'clock. Remove the spark plug, then loosen the nuts a quarter turn at a time, working in a cross pattern. Back them off completely.

Here's what the cylinder head looks like with one rocker arm assembly removed, the studs at 12 and 6 o'clock just barely visible. Note the pushrod just visible to the left of the lower right cylinder stud.

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Noting their original position, remove the rocker arms, followed by the pushrods. Mark the pushrods for their orientation in the engine and keep the rocker arm assemblies in order of intake/exhaust so that everything goes back together just as it came apart.

The cylinder head and cylinder can now be removed. Tap the head and cylinder with a rubber-faced mallet to break their seal. They should separate fairly easily. Remove the head followed by the cylinder. Here is a pushrod tube and its seal releasing from the block.

If your engine is like ours, you'll find the pistons caked with carbon, which is quite normal. We removed and cleaned our pistons, which actually makes reassembly easier as you don't need a ring compressor for assembly. Inspect the piston and rings carefully for wear.

Our cylinder head (in the background) was similarly carboned up, so we had Doc at our local machine shop clean it and check the valve seats and guides, which were fine. We're showing the cylinder only to note the two chamfered locating dowels visible here at roughly 11 and 5 o'clock. These must be removed before reassembly.

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Here are the two dowels removed from the cylinder barrel. Ours came out fairly easily using simply a pair of pliers. Why remove them? BMW decided they were unnecessary and has since changed the head gasket to suit. New head gaskets will not fit over the dowels, hence their removal.

Piston removal requires prying out the wrist pin clips so you can remove the wrist pin from the connecting rod and piston. Gently heat the piston with a hair dryer to aid wrist pin removal and assembly. Before piston and cylinder reassembly, install one new clip in the piston. It doesn't matter which one. This will facilitate installation of the piston/cylinder assembly, as we'll see shortly.

At reassembly, lightly oil the cylinder bore. Ensure the piston rings are staggered (no end gaps lining up) per the manual, and insert the piston into the cylinder bore from the bottom, which has a pronounced chamfer.

Ensure the arrow stamped in the piston crown will face forward on final installation. Using your fingers, compress the rings and gently work the piston into the cylinder until the rings are completely in the barrel. Leave the wrist pin area of the piston visible.

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Rotate the crankshaft until the connecting rod is extended, then gently pack a rag around the connecting rod at the block. Lightly coat the base gasket with Permatex Ultra Grey sealant and install it over the studs. Note: The wrist pin is installed here only to hold the connecting rod up from the engine case.

Carefully slide the cylinder barrel with piston over the studs until the connecting rod lines up with the piston. Install the wrist pin until it passes through the piston and connecting rod and butts up against the clip already installed. Install the other wrist pin clip to secure the wrist pin in place.

Remove the rag around the connecting rod and gently push the cylinder over the piston. Note the pushrod tube seal orientation, ribbed side toward the engine with its offset at bottom. You can install the seal at this juncture, but it's easier prior to the previous step.

With the cylinder pushed home, place the new cylinder head gasket in place. The factory gasket comes with sealant already applied. Before going any further, make sure both pushrod tubes and their seals are properly positioned in their respective seats.

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Oil their ends and install the pushrods, ensuring they're properly located. Make sure the threaded valve adjusters are backed off. Install the rocker arms in their respective places, followed by the six stud washers and nuts. Following a cross pattern, slowly work the nuts down until they just seat.

Check that the pushrod tube seals are properly seated, then torque the six cylinder head stud nuts in two stages to their specified torque. In our case 26lb/ft, with the first torque at 15lb/ft.

Adjust the valves per the manual. Turn the engine over several times and recheck the valve adjustment. Install the valve cover gasket and valve cover. Assuming your engine is in the bike, it's now time to reinstall the carburetors and exhaust system. If already drained, refill the engine with clean oil. It's time to start it up, free of oil leaks!

Read more: http://www.motorcycleclassics.com/mc-how-to/bmw-airhead-twin-pushrod-tubeseals.aspx#ixzz2LouRBmJh

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Marketplace For Sale Honda VFR 800 - Less than 15000km on the clock, two new tyres, FSH, Honda Custom touring Panniers (visible in the picture) Price R 65 000 negotiable David Watson 082 551 5147

I have a XS650 Yamaha. All standard original equipment. Stood in garage for 10 years. Won prizes on CMC 1000 Bike Show. It is SAVVA Registered, licences and running. Forced sale due to my retirement. R30 000.00 on C O. Phone Gordon : 0718875538

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I'm selling my GS1000G Very neat and well looked after 1982 model. Tyres still have 70-80% life on them MRA screen with a 1085cc wiseco kit. Bike has plenty power for a classic. License and paperwork are in order. Asking R20000 Neg. Pls contact Sakkie 0760679038 [email protected]

2 x KAZUMA QUAD BIKES FOR SALE Yellow, good condition, needs minor service 1 x 80cc @ R4000.00 - Negotiable 1 x 100cc @ R4200.00 - Negotiable Contact: Rui on 082 444 8179

BMW R 50, 1961, in good condition, matching numbers, running, registered and licensed R30 000 BMW R 50, 1960, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000 BMW R 60/2, 1967, project for restoration, matching numbers, no papers, R15 000 BMW R 67/3, 1956, project for restoration, numbers not matching, no papers, R20 000 Victoria KR 25, 1956, project for restoration, no papers, R5000 Contact Janus 073 228 0224 Benoni or email [email protected]

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Wanted Battery box cover for BSA- B25 Fleetstar 1970-71 model For Barry Allen on 082 494 9678 Honda C110 Petrol tank and any other spares. Please contact Gary on 083 226 8456 Norton 1946 model 18 back wheel or parts thereof. Cash or select from quite a few Norton bits. Contact John Wakeling cell 082 457 8327 or home 011 768 6793 work 011 433 8502.

Services Reg Assist. Need help with getting your machine on the road? John Muller is able to help. Services offered include: • • •

Trailer introductions, Licensing & Registrations Change of Ownership Advice on Natis & Roadworthy Problems

Contact John on 083 239 2293

Library The CMC library now holds a copy of most of the CMC magazines from the inception of the club but a couple of editions are missing. Can anybody assist in completing the full set? The magazines missing are: •

Number 1 to number 7 which was from May 1970 to November 1970.

• January 1981, January 1990 (although these might have been incorporated in the December editions but were not stated as such) and August 2007. I do not have the following, recent copies (in hard copy): 2010 May, July, August, September and December plus January to July 2011. If anybody has any motorcycle related books or magazines that they would be prepared to donate to the CMC library please contact the librarian or one of the committee members. Thanks Bob Harpin

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Charity Gwyneth Cronje is looking for donations of wool for use in a charity project. If you are able to donate to the cause please bring wool donations to the club either on Club Sundays or Wednesday night club meetings for collection. Your assistance would be greatly appreciated. For more information contact Gwyneth on 011 849 3008

G.J. Electroplating We specialize in the restoration and chrome plating of vintage & classic motorcycle and car parts using the triple chrome plating process that generates concourse quality results. Other processes include: polishing, copper, brass, nickel, cadmium and zinc. P.O. Box 16055 Atlasville 1465 Unit 16 & 17 Middle Park cnr Craig & Dormehl Roads, Anderbolt, Boksburg Tel: 087 941 0637/8 or 011 894 4525 Fax: 086 622 6342 Greg Cell: 082 680 0740 E-mail: [email protected]

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Humour Amazingly Simple Solutions 1. IF YOU'RE CHOKING ON AN ICE CUBE, SIMPLY POUR A CUP OF BOILING WATER DOWN YOUR THROAT. PRESTO! THE BLOCKAGE WILL INSTANTLY REMOVE ITSELF 2. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP. 3. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT - USE THE SINK. 4. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER. 5. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON. 6. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH. 7. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - Q20 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE Q20. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE. 8. REMEMBER - EVERYONE SEEMS NORMAL UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM. 9. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM. From Bruce Watts

Little Bruce Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old but they know they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says, "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage." Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, "Well Bruce, you are only 10.....where will you two live?" [34]

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies, "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely." Still thinking this is just adorable, Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay then, but how will you live? You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny." Again, Bruce instantly replies, "Our allowances.....Jenny makes five bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week. That's about 60 bucks a month so that should do us just fine." Mr. Smith is impressed that Bruce has put so much thought into this. "Well Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out. I just have one more question.....what will you do if the two of you should have little children of your own?" Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far." Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable. From Brian Hough

Ex Wife? Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was cleaning his leather boots. His wife was standing there watching him. After a long period of silence she finally speaks. “Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit biking. Maybe you should sell your bike.” Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what's wrong?” “There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.” “Ex wife!” she screams, “I didn't know you were married before!” “I wasn't!”

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Acronyms Young people have theirs, now Seniors have their own texting codes: ATD - At the Doctor's BFF - Best Friends Funeral BTW - Bring the Wheelchair BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth CBM - Covered by Medicare CUATSC - See You at the Senior Center DWI - Driving While Incontinent FWIW - Forgot Where I Was GGPBL - Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low GHA - Got Heartburn Again HGBM - Had Good Bowel Movement LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out LOL - Living on Lipitor OMSG - Oh My! Sorry, Gas TOT - Texting on Toilet WAITT - Who Am I Talking To? Hope these help. GGLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking in!) From Henny Steyl

Squashed Testicles There was a man who had had a headache for twenty years and was at the point where he wanted to end his own life, but he decided to go to a specialist first. No doctor could solve his problem, until finally one of them said "You have a very rare problem, your testicles are pressed up against your spine causing your headache. The only way to remedy it is to remove your testicles." [36]

The man hesitantly agrees and gets them removed. On his way home he walks past a tailor shop with a sign saying "ALL SUITS HALF PRICE" Being in need of a new suit he walks in where a man greets him and says "Hello Sir I see you want a suit, I would say that you are a 34 sleeve and a 24 pant." "Wow! How did you know that?" said the man. "Why Sir I've been in this business for 40 years. Would you like shoes to go with that?" "Sure" says the man. "Okay I'd say that you're a size 10 wide." "OK, now you're freaking me out...That's a great talent" says the man. "Thanks" replied the shopkeeper, "Now how about some undergarments?" "OK see if you can guess my size", said the man. "Easy 36" said the shopkeeper. "Nope 34" replied the man. To which the shopkeeper exclaimed "Impossible a size 34 would swish your testicles against your spine and you'd get a headache".

Condom I recall my first time with a condom, I must have been 16. I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it. She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time." So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty. "Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. "Do these excite you?" she asked. Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk. "Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time." So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.

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She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that condom on?" she asked. I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her. She fainted.

Checkmate A guy asked a girl in a library, "Do you mind if I sit beside you?" The girl answered with a loud voice, "I DO NOT WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!!!" All of the students in the library started staring at the guy. He was very embarrassed, and moved to a different table. After a couple of minutes, the girl walked quietly to the guy's table and told him, "I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking. Let me guess, you were embarrassed, huh?" The guy responded with a loud voice, "200 DOLLARS FOR ONE NIGHT? THAT'S TOO MUCH!!!"...and all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock. The guy leaned over and whispered, "I study Law, and I know how to make people look guilty."

Warning about Bid-or-Buy Be careful what you buy on Bid-or-Buy. If you buy stuff online, check out the seller carefully. A friend, Barry, has just spent R995 plus VAT on a penis enlarger. Bastards sent him a magnifying glass. The only instructions said, "Do not use in direct sunlight." From Phil Moser

Brakpan Zoo A small zoo in Brakpan acquired a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination the vet discovered the problem. The gorilla was in season. To make matters worse there was no male gorilla available. Pondering over their problem the zoo-keeper thought of Frik van Wyk, a local lad and parttime worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages. Frik, like many of the Brakpan menfolk, had little sense but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any species. The zookeeper thought they might have a solution. Frik was approached with a proposition. Would he be willing to mate with the gorilla for R5000? Frik showed some interest but said he would have to think the matter over carefully. The following day he announced that he would accept their offer, but only under 4 conditions: [38]

“First”, Frik said “I’m not going to kiss her on the lips!” The keeper quickly agreed to this condition. “Second”, he said, “You can never tell anybody about this.” The keeper again readily agreed to this condition. “Third” said Frik “I want all the babies raised as Blue Bull supporters.” Once again it was agreed. “Fourth and last of all,” Frik said, “You’ll need to give me another week to come up with the R5000.” Puns for the educated.... 1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan. Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it." "But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!" Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." 2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss League records were destroyed in a fire, and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled. 3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's surgery and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!" The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient." 4. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the Medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day. After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on." 5. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official, who apologized profusely, saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census." 6. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one Slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. 7. A sceptical anthropologist was cataloguing South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal elder who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the elder looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas." [39]

The Black Bra (as told by a woman) I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here's how it all went. My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams...I love you.' Then we made passionate love all night long. The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night. Then I had to share my story: When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, "What's for dinner, Zorro?"

THE BEST EVER LAYOFF LETTER No wonder this guy is the boss, he is sharp! You can't be any fairer than this guy... Dear Employees: As the CEO of this organization, I have resigned myself to the fact that Jacob Zuma is our President and that our taxes and government fees will increase in a BIG way. To compensate for these increases, our prices would have to increase by about 10%. But, since we cannot increase our prices right now due to the dismal state of the economy, we will have to lay off sixty of our employees instead. This has really been bothering me since I believe we are family here and I didn 't know how to choose who would have to go. So, this is what I did. I walked through our parking lots and found sixty 'ANC ' bumper stickers on our employees ' cars and have decided these folks will be the ones to let go. I can't think of a more fair way to approach this problem. They voted for change... I gave it to them. From Phil Moser

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Faces You’d swear these guys are famous or something…

Can you guess who this is? His machine in this photo is a little different to his other ride which was covered in black sails and packed some mean fire power. Not to mention the GPS that had a mind of its own. Answer on the last page.

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CMC Committee 2013 Chairman

Pierre Cronje [email protected] Tel: 011 849 3008 Fax: 011 425 1284 [email protected] http://www.classicmotorcycleclub.co.za

072-513-9432

Vice Chairman

Hamish Ireland H: 011 827 1670 Fax: 011 827 1670 [email protected]

082-772-0141

Secretary

Bob Hooper W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected]

083-381-0695

Treasurer

Rita Grové H: 011 764 3798 Fax: 086 672 8941 [email protected] [email protected]

083-774-6798

Banking Details:

Account Name: Classic Motorcycle Club Standard Bank – Benoni Bank Code No: 013042 Account No: 420 188 738

Charity Organizers:

Marlene Hooper 082-925-1447 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected] Bob Hooper 083-381-0695 W: 011 452 4737 Fax: 011 452 4738 H: 011 452 6070 [email protected]

Japanese/Honda Spares:

Alan Green (Honda Shop) [email protected] Dave Carroll

Spares:

Brian Roulstone W: 011 828 0716 [email protected] Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Bob Linell

073-804-2970 083-461-3303 082-950-3766

082-546-7155 082-756-7155

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Event Organisers

Racing Section

Trials Organiser

Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 Alan Bayley [email protected] Graham Kendall [email protected] Gary Hunter H: 011 475 2179 [email protected] Peter Nicholl Tel: 011 971 1759 [email protected]

082-629-2961 078-137-5609 083-468-1753

083-720-8688 W: 011 882 8030

082-940-1457 Fax: 011 392 4438

Off-Road Rides Trials

Dave Haines W: 011 803 1159 H: 011 465 1306 Fax: 011 803 0970 [email protected]

082-895-5259

SAVVA Reps

Freddie Viljoen

082-336-5590

Liaison Officers

Terry Hack – Members [email protected]

082-697-6058

Webmaster

JAWS [email protected]

083 459-7802

Museum Custodian Brian Neethling Fax: 011 768 6829 Barry Allan

082 546 7155 082-494-9678

Trophy Officer

Rusty Thorns

Editor

Timothy Romans W: 011 661 1517 [email protected]

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082-629-2961

Riding Shotgun

Easter Bunny Express Delivery Service

Answer for Guess the Bike: 1949 Imme R100 Answer for Faces: John Christopher “Johnny” Depp II

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