'Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters'

Entertainment

B5

OCTOBER 24 – 30, 2013

Murray Close/ Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation

MOVIE REVIEW

‘Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters’ Sea of kitsch and rip-offs.

‘half-blood’ concept from Harry god Poseidon, looks like the young Potter and mash it up with Greek Christian Slater. mythology!” He has a trusty sidekick, an Afri“Mash-up” is a musical term. Actu- can-American faun named Grover Director: Thor Freudenthal Cast: Logan Lerman, Alexandra ally, just about everything existing – horns, cloven hoofs, short-ish Afro. Daddario, Brandon T. Jackson, Jake in the world today is some form of (Fauns also come in Caucasian, by Abel, Solange Knowles, Stanley mixed-up mash-up. the way.) Tucci Running Time: 1 hour, 50 minutes But is it good for kids? Let’s see. They go on an adventure to find Rating: PG Here’s the story. You’ve got your the Golden Fleece, which will heal “Camp Half-Blood”. It’s a sleep-away the tree and revive the barrier. camp for elite, good-looking, often They’re accompanied by Percy’s By Mark Jackson spoiled 90210-type kids, except uncool half-brother Tyson, a socially they’re all half deities. inept, dread-locked, golden-hearted, Epoch Times Staff Stanley Tucci plays god-of-wine hippie-ish Cyclops. (Is that an army Dionysus, a polo-shirted, goateed, jacket he’s wearing?) “Good artists borrow, great artists functioning-alcoholic twit of a camp Also joining them is the beautisteal,” it’s been said. While not the counsellor, who doesn’t get that he ful but prejudiced (against Cyclops) most honourable of expressions, it’s ought not to say “whatever” all the Annabeth, demigod daughter of Paltrue that there’s nothing new under time, like the campers do, because las Athena, goddess of wisdom. She the sun. Let’s call it a “re-telling”. If he’s not 14. inherited all that wisdom, but still the re-telling is subtle enough that The movie kicks off with a flash- uses an iPad. you can’t spot the influence or if you back to one camper, Thalia, sacrificAnd they’re going to have some do, you don’t mind – that’s generally ing her life by holding off a Cyclops competition from the egotistical, attack. Father god Zeus then creates über-brat child of war-god Ares, good art. If it’s a brazen wholesale ransack- a tree out of Thalia’s body, which Clarisse. ing – that’s usually bad art. Percy emanates an invisible barrier that They ride a hippocampus (it’s a Jackson: Sea of Monsters is a wall-to- protects Camp Half-Blood. horse-mermaid-fish)! They do battle wall ransacking rip-off. Then one fine happy-camper day, on an awesome yacht! I can imagine the archetypal a mechanical bull (don’t ask) breaks They get sucked down the giant cigar-chomping Hollywood mogul the barrier and snorts around the maw of “Charybdis”, a classic Greek behind his desk hollering: “Get me camp, attempting to gore campers. sea monster. kiddie product! It’s easy! Grab the Our hero Percy, “spawn” of sea They end up in its stomach, which,

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(L–R) Tyson (Douglas Smith), Clarisse (Leven Rambin), Grover (Brandon T. Jackson), Annabeth (Alexandra Daddario) and Percy (Logan Lerman) are shocked by their latest discovery. obviously unbeknown to Homer (Homer wrote The Odyssey) now also doubles as the Bermuda Triangle. They shoot holes in Charybdis’s stomach with a big gun from a 1940s destroyer that got sucked into the Triangle! This gets them to Polyphemus’s place; he’s the huge Cyclops who once tried to munch Odysseus. He’s got the Golden Fleece. He’s voiced by Ron Pearlman. Polyphemus lives on Coney Island. That’s not its real name, but his island is an amusement park. Yep. It’s got a rollercoaster, Tilt-a-Whirl and, um, Space Mountain. Are we getting a sense of the overwhelming bad-taste mash-up-ness here yet? The kit-and-caboodle ransacking sell-out geared to drain your kiddie dollars? It’s like a city dump – you can find anything in there. But would you want to? In the highly regarded Rudolf

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Steiner School curriculum, Greek tial or gaudy works…calculated to mythology is taught in the 5th grade have popular appeal…cheap and in all its solemn, pure pageantry. marketable…mimics its immediate Pictures are painted, poems from predecessor with no regard to ethics; the Greek classics are learned by it “offers instantaneous emotional heart, costumes are made and plays gratification”. performed. That’s good stuff. C’mon Hollywood, give the kids Can we find anything in Percy to some purity so they can regain some ameliorate the mash-up tackiness? morals and some ideas about how Are there lessons for the kiddies to to purify the mashed-up, kitschy, learn? Bravery and selflessness are apocalyptic world we created for good. them! Model-y Annabeth overcomes her Well, that was some admittedly Cyclops prejudice. Clarisse learns to overly serious self-righteous windplay well with others. That’s pretty baggery. It’s just a kids’ film, for goodmuch it. ness’ sake – why’s this reviewer getWhat’s the wanton ransacking ting so excited? Well, we care, folks! of myths, the sullying of ancient But never mind, there are worse Grecian aesthetics with modern things you could take your kids to Dude-iPad-Whatever culture and – like Saw VIII for instance. Plenty of the unashamed ripping off of the people actually drag small children superior Harry Potter series called? to that (expletive deleted). Kitsch. Children will probably enjoy Percy. Wikipedia defines it: “Kitsch is a It’ll be a reasonably fun outing. A style of mass-produced art or design review of 3.5 stars for kids and 1.5 for using cultural icons…unsubstan- parents equals: 2 stars.

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1. Exploring caverns 2. Exclamation of pain 3. Mimicked 4. Receive ball 5. Thin wires 6. Declared 9. Roof overhangs 11. Procession 13. Grecian vase 15. Gymnastics event 16. Tree limb 18. Required 19. Bible song 21. Taverns 22. Simple

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SOLUTION BELOW

Alan Morgan

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Puzzles

Each row of nine cells must contain each of the numbers from 1 to 9 only once. Each column of nine cells must contain each of the numbers from 1 to 9 only once. Each of the nine 3 x 3 boxes of nine cells must contain each of the numbers from 1 to 9 only once.

Suggested Solution

SOLUTION BELOW

Presented By

ANS: xx_An_open_and_shut_case_x

SUDOKU Instructions:

word puzzle

ANS: x_Fall_apart_like_a_cheap_suit_x

sudoku